Does this sound like you?
"I'm quite nervous about therapy in general."
"I'm really uncomfortable with the idea of experiencing it with others....strangers."
"It's so personal, I don't want to risk being judged by others".
"I don't like the idea of airing my "dirty laundry" in public."
"I'm quite nervous about therapy in general."
"I'm really uncomfortable with the idea of experiencing it with others....strangers."
"It's so personal, I don't want to risk being judged by others".
"I don't like the idea of airing my "dirty laundry" in public."
This kind of fear is perfectly natural and common with most people interested in participating. And this fear is likely reflective of some aspect of oneself that needs to be explored or challenged. For example when a person is grounded and feels confident in themselves and their lived experiences, same person more easily relates to other people and does not experience trepidations or fears as someone who may not. Most people who enter these group programs have lots of fears as such, yet have found ways to overcome them enough to participate. One of our earliest exercises is to understand and acknowledge the fears and needs that we as a group are dealing with. Quite honestly, fear is our natural way of protecting ourselves from danger, and in a therapeutic and healing environment where people let down their guards, it is essential to determine whether or not its' safe to do so. Most people are comforted knowing that they are not alone with feelings of fear.
Common fears that I hear from clients in 1:1 practice is the fear of feelings. People tend to share a common fear that if they experience their honest feelings they would be so overwhelmed by them that they would melt into "nothingness". I have heard many different expressions of definitions for what that "nothingness" is. Having said that, people are NOT encouraged to blindly trust and take a leap of faith into sharing their deepest feelings and tolerate what comes from it. A gradual sequencing when sharing (both in listening and talking) is important. Some of the gradual sharing is done before interested participants commit to a program. By that I mean that the registration forms which need to be filled out prior to committing to a program is a way of gradually exposing yourself, simultaneously giving you pertinent information about your own comfort level.
Regarding the fear of being judged. Well, what is true in group therapy also resonates with people in general in the "real world". Those who are judging are usually hold a mirror of sorts, reflective of themselves in some manner. Atleast in group therapy people have a chance to understand it and if it were to happen, to slow it down to understand what it's reflecting. However, I have found that people who risk coming into group therapy are very sensitive and compassionate to the needs of others.
Regarding publicly airing your dirty laundry. Well, first off, many times what you think is "dirty" (shame), doesn't belong to you. The group sizes are small and intimate, and trust is something that begins building from the first phone call, and subsequent meetings and throughout. The group's format includes the facilitators beginning with some warm up exercises allowing people to get to know some aspects of each other that helps each person to determine how to proceed. If you have something sensitive that you want to share about yourself, most people are there to support.
The facilitators reading your forms or perhaps speaking with you via phone before you decide or begin the program will have quite a bit of knowledge about you and the others who are interested in participating. We do our best to create a group of participants who would work well together.